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The Love Crush. Jagger wrestles with the kind of gushing love crush one has as a teenager over Garth, the new lifeguard from Australia

Jagger’s Revolution is a love story about a strong, bohemian, beach thug with hard coded rules of etiquette on how love and relationships should be. Jagger’s fight is one where he endures one bad date after another, while wondering if he’ll ever meet the right soul mate. Throughout his dating dalliances and crushing love frustrations, he wrestles with the kind of gushing love crush one has as a teenager over Garth, the new lifeguard from Australia. He wrestles with an immediate silent connection with him and longs to get close.

Jagger is surrounded and prompted up by his trustworthy brother in arms. They’re also known as his buddies for life who temper his unruly ego and aggression while giving him undying loyalty. There’s the preppy book smart Troy, the high-powered executive, Russell, and the sex loving and relationship hating Slade.

Jagger’s Revolution contains hard biting dating wisdom and ideals threaded throughout the essays. This is surrounded by true accounts of being slighted by love while craving a perfect soul mate partnership.

Reader Advisory Warning and Spoiler: Jagger’s Revolution is a love story which contains some sexually explicit scenarios. It is not for those with a short attention span, since one needs to exercise patience when hoping to obtain your soul mate life partner. This rules out quite a bit in this “instant me” world who demand immediate gratification. One needs to endure Jagger’s unpleasant dating situations that lead nowhere, before he eventually merges with his twin flame. In traditional love stories, the voyeur is secretly aware that the two leads will end up together, but the fun is the build up and the journey one tolerates before that happens.

The semi-autobiographical essays include: The High School Episode with Billy, Natasha: The Escort Chick, as well as Sage and The Vegas Stripper Club. Jagger finds exhaustion with several dating entanglements that includes: Caden: the Malibu Cobra, the Skaterboy, The Englishman and The Professor.

The book “Jagger’s Revolution” has been banned through the years for being too racy in some sections.   It is part of the long list of banned books or banned and challenged books in our Earth’s history.  Jagger’s Revolution is considered too hot and too idealistic for some limited views.  Jagger’s Revolution is ahead of its time.  This book is now available in paperback and kindle.  If you leave a positive review, then you will receive another Kevin Hunter book of your choice for free.  Email kevinsbeach@aol.com with the link to that review, the Kevin Hunter book you’d like, along with your shipping address”

What readers have said:

“This book rocked my soul truly. I loved it.”

“Wow! I just read “Jagger’s Revolution”. Hot! Yum! It’s almost like a jerk off reading.”

“I hate reading, but this was the first book I actually finished all the way through since High School. It was great.”

“It is hot over here and that book of yours only inflames things more.”

“Jagger’s Revolution was a beautiful story.”

“This book was making me moist. I had to put it down because I was on a plane. It was embarrassing.”

“I finished reading Jagger’s Revolution. I almost felt guilty reading some of it. I was trying to come at it from an analytical perspective, but I couldn’t help but become secretly aroused by Jagger and his friends.”

“This book sort of gave me a ‘Rebel Without a Cause” feel, but with a lot more penetration. That wasn’t a bad feeling.”

“Billy and Jagger. Hot scene. I had visuals.”

“Was impressed by the books eloquence and passion.”

~  Kevin Hunter

www.kevin-hunter.com

Empowerment, inspirational and self-help books by Kevin Hunter
are available in paperback and kindle wherever books are sold.

The content in the books, “Warrior of Light” and “Empowering Spirit Wisdom” is
available in the Warrior of Light series of mini-books:

Jagger’s Revolution is a modern day love story about a tough beach thug on a hunt to conquer his love crush.

 

Jagger’s Revolution
book excerpt

It’s an unusual heat wave in March in the city of Hermosa Beach, California.  This is home to the surfer’s walk of fame and where the too sexy it should be illegal cascade along the beach playing volleyball or surfing the cosmic Pacific Ocean waves.  A young, rebellious man breathes down its neck pulling out its sexual diversity without so much as a word.  Jagger careens around the corner at lightning speed leaving a trail blazed behind him.  His black pick-up truck dominates a street lined with cactus for a block and a half where the foot of the beach starts.  He is consumed with all sorts of mental breakage while yammering away on the phone.  Lethal and territorial with his crowd and environment, there is an easy vibe about him mixed with a dangerous edge.

He finds a spot between a parked corolla and a small trashcan on wheels that stands in his way.  He battles with reversing his truck into a small open space available to parallel park.  Feeling destructive and antsy like he can do anything he wants, he attempts to back the truck up into the spot around the trash can.  God forbid he climbs out to move the trash receptor.  That’s not his style.  If something is in his way, then he hits it or runs over it.  There is a rough beauty about him that is aloof and attractive.  He is a loner and a tough guy with a warrior’s edge.  There are cuts and scars on him from running and jumping off high objects to temper his occasional unruly aggression.  He’s crashed down onto the street and pavement more than once.  Thirty-two years old with looks in the mid-20’s, his endless active lifestyle has done him good.  He gets into the occasional fist-fight, but is merely trying to survive standing up for a fair Prince or Princess in a jam.  He doesn’t know why he gives a shit for humankind, as man hasn’t been kind to him or each other.  As a writer and on an intellectual level he hates stereotypes and doesn’t agree with them.  Pigeonholes and labels are both offensive and repetitive in his mind.

He reverses the truck and his back tire hikes up onto the curb.  Accelerating forward abruptly and slamming on the brakes causes a loud echoing screech.  He slams his truck into the trashcan causing it to spin around while an onlooker watches concerned in the distance.  Paying no mind, he backs up banging the tire against the curb.

“What the fuck.”  He says under his breath.  He hits the steering wheel with his palms in a brash manner.

Slamming on the gas he runs into the trash can once more.

“Hold on.”  He shouts into his earpiece then, “Let me call you back!”

The driver door swings open and a huge beach breeze rushes past the truck.  Jagger’s hiking boot hits the street pavement hard.  With combative movements he climbs out of the car into plain view.  He is about medium height, not ultra short or tall, but to some it’s known as the fun height.  He’s got a classically young looking face and body, a short dark military hair cut and huge killer brown eyes.  Testosterone radiates off of his body which is strong and confident.  Although a regular guy he permeates heavy doses of mystery and superiority.   He sports khaki shorts and a camouflage tank top with the words “ARMY” on the front and “FUCK” on the back.

His shorts hang casually over his ass, which is full and round.  His ass makes some heterosexual guys drool and secretly fantasize what it would be like if they experimented once.  They would never go through with it with another guy, but they can’t control their imagination.  Instead they direct their focus for a second at the smoky dude and wonder.  They attempt to wipe away the fantasy so as not to grow a hard on and have to explain it to their girlfriends, friends or themselves.  Only when he’s a largely evolved hetero guy who is sure of himself will it rarely bother him.

Jagger marches like a sergeant with frenetic energy grabbing onto the handle of the trash can.  He drags it away onto the sidewalk.  It makes a deathly echo into the air of the neighborhood.  He is here and making himself known.  A tone about him is intimidating.  Some beach folk walk by uncomfortable and rush past him quickly.

He hikes back to the truck and stares face forward horrified.  Butterflies swarm around in his stomach and his heart pounds faster in a rare vulnerability.  He wants to be shot dead right there on the street like a mountain lion that shouldn’t be roaming around the city.  Everything stops around him and nothing else matters.  Mesmerized by the new guy in his town he’s had a crush on since he first saw him.  Getting Jagger to feel any crushing feelings on anyone is impossible, but he feels an uncontrollable connection to this one.  It isn’t difficult to know why when you cross paths with the sweetest guy on the planet.

Garth stands half a block away in his own tracks eyeing Jagger.  Garth’s mouth moves half open in fear and wonderment.  His messy dirty blonde hair blows a little in the wind.  His deep green eyes pierce into Jagger’s heart.  Every shade of Jagger’s face becomes etched into Garth’s mind.  He has red lifeguard shorts on and shirt while holding a surfboard under his arm.  He’s a different wild animal than Jagger, but untamed and unruly nonetheless.

Both dudes stand in stillness unable to move in the city jungle wondering if the other is a friend or threat they would need to fight to the death.  There’s no greater feeling than having a hot crush on someone, but there’s no worse feeling when the one you’re crushing on has no idea.  Neither are aware that they’re both thinking the same thing about the other.

Jagger’s breath leaves him and the guy’s cavernous eyes pound all over his body.  It’s as if an unknown entity is reaching down his throat with strong fingers and drawing the air out of his shaking soul.  Jagger has a soft spot for this guy, amidst his own menacing aura that people first see.

They both look away and at each other and then away.  It’s the typical shy school boy stance when crossing paths with a crush.

Garth continues on his walk down the slight slope knowing he will pass Jagger from across the street.

Jagger wants to die. ‘Fuck me.  I have to complicate things by falling for someone.’

Garth senses Jagger’s eyes burning deep into him as he gets close enough to plant the grenade.  He works up the courage to be neighborly.  “Hey.”  His voice is gritty and rough, but he lights up like an angel.  He could talk a man into turning himself into the law and starting his life over in a better way.  Garth’s voice sounds like he is hanging onto what’s left of his teenage puberty, but he’s twenty-four years old and this is his voice.  Pushing six feet, he towers Jagger by just enough to overpower him if he wanted to.  Garth has a noticeable Aussie accent and is the most stunning creature Jagger has ever seen.  Jagger no longer has to worry about trying to write about love he has when he doesn’t have any.  He’s found his muse and damn inspiration.

Jagger remains cool, low and raspy when he responds, “Hello.”  His voice soothes Garth’s world and cradles it.   Garth trembles slightly with a nod as he passes him and continues on down to the crowded beach.  The white sands and blue sea up ahead is the spot that Garth would make love to Jagger every day all day and night if he could.  Having a crush on someone hurts because it often feels like it’s not shared.  This is why it’s a crush, because it crushes you.  You feel vulnerable and stupid as if you are alone in the equation.  Turning the feelings off is near impossible as you have no idea why you feel this way so intensely.  You wish you could turn it off so that you can relax and be cool.  Your crush might notice you more when they see your strong poise, instead of the disappointment, all thumbs aura and pain that rises whenever that person is in your vicinity.

Jagger climbs back into his truck to absorb Garth’s energy.  He sits for a moment exhaling and glancing up without lifting his head.  Garth is in the distance heading down to the beach and Jagger feels guilty for looking.  He places both hands on the steering wheel and leans his head over exhaling again. “Fuck.”

Garth is one of the hottest lifeguards on the beach.  Jagger uses every free second available to be consumed with thoughts of him.  He wonders about this guy to help him sleep throughout the night with sweet images of the two of them together.  Daydreaming of what it would be like to have him as part of his life.  This could be the Father of his kids!  The way Garth moves and the discipline he conveys inside and out that very few guys have in Jagger’s eyes lures him in even more.

Sometimes Garth goes for a run and his well-built body, his tight and toned legs, chest and arms seep through his shorts and his shirt if he has one on.  Jagger’s eyes make out every inch and shape of it all in hot eroticism.   His arms.  His ass.  He wonders what his cock would look like and what he would look like naked.  He wants to run his fingers through the little dark blonde hairs on his legs and let all of them stand up and take notice of him.

Jagger goes running too and every now and then the guys near pass each other while on their walk or jog, but those moments are far and few between.   It is all set up on divine timing when they’ll bump into one another next.  They already have a common ground.  They both like to take care of themselves.  Jagger doesn’t have to worry about some dude who enjoys getting sloshed all night at a club or bar on a regular basis destroying his health, looks, whole aura and being.  He can’t handle the instability and neurosis associated with someone who cannot make it a week without having a drink.

Garth watches Jagger with his mouth open ready to take his lips in.  He stands there in heat holding a fork and knife ready to go to town.  Sometimes Garth catches Jagger when he is outside or on his balcony on the street that commands the neighborhood as if he secretly owns it, but tells no one.  Garth gazes at him gaping in heavy teen love angst as if they are both fifteen, horny and in love.  He searches for the push to make his voice heard in his direction.  If he weren’t so damn good looking, he would be blended into the wall, an observer, a solid, quiet one with an active spirit.

Jagger knows Garth is the fucking ultimate babe, but tries desperately to get back to planet earth and snap out of it.  He’s tired of hallucinating as if he has a shot with him.  There is a nasty twinge in his side that convinces him that Garth doesn’t know he exists.  He’s left with feeling like the daily idiot he’s perfected so well whenever around him.  He wants to be hosed down with cold water and maybe it’ll go away.  Alleviate it off his body the way a car’s radiator steams out of the sides of the hood when it’s used every ounce of liquid it has.  Yet, he loves the way Garth watches him.  It seems like he’s in love with him.   He wants to believe that the guy is attracted to him.  Garth stares at him as if he’s never seen anyone like him before.  He sees him and sees who his soul truly is.  Jagger sometimes catches Garth watching him.  It drives him nuts and he coyly looks anywhere else, but at him.  He masturbates to thoughts of him with the Summer night breeze rushing into the living room of his home enveloping his body that drips with beads of sweat. Garth’s hands grabbing hold of Jagger’s body and kissing down it methodically.

Jagger jolts back to reality and hops out of his truck bummed out that it isn’t real.

Cars and trucks pull onto the street to park.  They are crammed with surfboards sticking out of their trunks or strapped onto the top of the cars.  Hot beach dudes and the occasional hot beach chick pull their surfboards out of their vehicles.  One by one they catch a glimpse of Jagger and smile.  They wave captivated knowing this is his home too.  They all assume a friendship on that tidbit alone.  Jagger slams the door to his truck closed and smiles at one of his local surf buds he recognizes in the bunch.  Trezner smiles back and heads over to Jagger.

Jagger hi-fives Trezner with a fist bump, “Hey man, you know they don’t let faggots surf here.”

Trezner wraps his arm tight around Jagger, “What’s up bitch?  I’m taking a break from the Malibu swells.  How have they been here this week?”

“In Hermosa baby, there are never any disappointments.  The waves have been blowin’ up the last couple days.”  Jagger’s eyes drift out to sea on the sidewalk in the distance where Garth was not long before.  The sidewalk path sparkles with light where his earth angel had passed.  Trezner smirks smitten by Jagger who is oblivious by the attention.

Buy Paperback:
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Jagger’s Revolution is a modern day love story about a tough beach thug on a hunt to conquer his love crush. Take a journey with Jagger through his dating dalliances and crushing love frustrations. He is surrounded by his colorful friends: The preppy book smart Troy, the high powered executive, Russell, and the sex loving and relationship hating Slade.

Dive into Jagger’s early years in a series of autobiographical essays revolving around the author’s love life including: The Five Year Old Incident, The High School Episode with Billy, Natasha: The Escort Chick, The Drug Conquest, Sage and The Vegas Stripper Club and Jagger’s Break as a Sex Columnist. Jagger is the alter ego of the author and he finds exhaustion with several dating entanglements that includes: Caden: the Malibu Cobra, the Skaterboy, The Englishman and The Professor.

All throughout his love, dating and sex scenarios, Jagger experiences the kind of crush and love one has as a teenager over Garth, the new lifeguard from Australia. He wrestles with an immediate silent connection with him and longs to get close.

Jagger’s Revolution contains hard biting dating wisdom surrounded by true accounts of being slighted by love while craving for that perfect mate. If Jagger develops the courage to go for it, then he just might get his wish with his lifeguard dude in the end.

Reader Advisory Warning: “Jagger’s Revolution” contains some sexually graphic and explicit content.

What readers have said about the book:

“Wow! I just read “Jagger’s Revolution”. Hot! Yum! It’s almost like a jerk off reading.”

“I hate reading, but this was the first book I actually finished all the way through since High School. It was great.”

“This book rocked my soul truly. I loved it.”

“It is hot over here and that book of yours only inflames things more.”

“This book was making me moist. I had to put it down because I was on a plane. It was embarrassing.”

Jagger’s Revolution was a beautiful story.”

“I finished reading Jagger’s Revolution. I almost felt guilty reading some of it. I was trying to come at it from an analytical perspective, but I couldn’t help but become secretly aroused by Jagger and his friends.”

“This book sort of gave me a ‘Rebel Without a Cause” feel, but with a lot more penetration. That wasn’t a bad feeling.”

“I love Jagger tearing around the corner. That guy is so hot. I want one.”

“I read your book and I get hard, then I get flaccid, then hard again. You say something that makes you stop and think, then it switches gears and I get hard again.”

“Eww you have sex with girls in your book. Yuck! But the Billy sex! Mmm! Instant hard on reading.”

“I read your book and it was really good by the way.”

“Wow Jagger’s Revolution was kind of a gay book, but with a sex and the city edge. Loved it!”

“Crawling under the sheets is an expression loosely used to describe that instance where you bare all, but you took it one step further with this book.”

“Nice transition at the coffee shop into Slade. I heard the voicemail beep and it was Slade. I had to read to find out who he is!!”

“Love your book!! Awesome erotic stuff 🙂 but you probably get that a lot.”

“Was impressed by the books eloquence and passion.”

“When you say gay friendships missing morality and loyalty.  Kevin you are right I agree.”

“Billy and Jagger.  Hot scene Kevin.  I had visuals”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Paperback

~  Kevin Hunter

www.kevin-hunter.com

Learn how to connect with your own Spirit team in Heaven by fine tuning your body and soul.

All books are available in paperback and kindle wherever books are sold.

Warrior of Light: Messages from my Guides and Angels” –
PaperbackKindle.

Empowering Spirit Wisdom: A Warrior of Light’s Guide on Love, Career and the Spirit World“ PaperbackKindle.

The content in the “Warrior of Light” and “Empowering Spirit Wisdom” is available in the Warrior of Light series of mini-books:

Fun Books for Valentine’s Day. Soul Mates and Twin Flames. Jagger’s Revolution.

Fun books for Valentine’s Day!

Soul Mates and Twin Flames

Everyone is interested in love and relationships whether they like to admit it or not. Even the most hardened human soul has fantasized about having a love interest or a partner in crime. One of the main reasons you are here is to love and to learn how to love. This is not just in intimate relationships, but with everyone you come into contact with. In, Soul Mates and Twin Flames: Attracting in Love, Friendships and the Human Heart, author Kevin Hunter touches on the topic of love and relationships by passing on some of the messages and guidance he has received from his own Guides and Angels on the topic.

Included in this informational book are some of the basics on, Soul Mates, Twin Flames, Dysfunctional Relationships, Reconnecting with an Ex, Karmic Relationships, Friendships, Loneliness, working with the Romance Angels, Dating, Relationships and more!

Paperback

Kindle

And for the gays, the adults and the uninhibited looking for a trashy beach read….

Jagger’s Revolution

Jagger’s Revolution is a modern day love story about a tough beach thug on a hunt to conquer his love crush. Take a journey with Jagger through his dating dalliances and crushing love frustrations. He is surrounded by his colorful friends: The preppy book smart Troy, the high powered executive, Russell, and the sex loving and relationship hating Slade.

Dive into Jagger’s early years in a series of autobiographical essays revolving around the author’s love life including: The Five Year Old Incident, The High School Episode with Billy, Natasha: The Escort Chick, The Drug Conquest, Sage and The Vegas Stripper Club and Jagger’s Break as a Sex Columnist. Jagger is the alter ego of the author and he finds exhaustion with several dating entanglements that includes: Caden: the Malibu Cobra, the Skaterboy, The Englishman and The Professor.

All throughout his love, dating and sex scenarios, Jagger experiences the kind of crush and love one has as a teenager over Garth, the new lifeguard from Australia. He wrestles with an immediate silent connection with him and longs to get close.

Jagger’s Revolution contains hard biting dating wisdom surrounded by true accounts of being slighted by love while craving for that perfect mate. If Jagger develops the courage to go for it, then he just might get his wish with his lifeguard dude in the end. What is Jagger’s revolution? Treating each other with love and respect of course.

Paperback

Kindle

www.kevin-hunter.com

Learn how to connect with your own Spirit team in Heaven by fine tuning your body and soul.
All books are available in paperback and kindle wherever books are sold.

Warrior of Light: Messages from my Guides and Angels” –
PaperbackKindle.

Empowering Spirit Wisdom: A Warrior of Light’s Guide on Love, Career and the Spirit World“ PaperbackKindle.

The content in the “Warrior of Light” and “Empowering Spirit Wisdom” is available in the Warrior of Light series of mini-books:

Ask Jagger: Guy on Grindr is Difficult to Make Plans With

Dear Jagger,

I met up with this guy a few weeks ago via grindr. It was just a casual encounter, but somehow I feel like I’m developing feelings for him. I’ve been trying to hang out with him again, not just for a hookup, but it hasn’t happened yet. He will text back and hold a conversation but he’s always too busy to do anything. I’m starting to wonder if he’s avoiding me or not interested. It’s a strange situation since I’m bisexual and haven’t had strong feelings for a male before, and he’s not completely sure whether he is gay or not. I’m not sure how to tell him I want to get to know him more without coming on too strong. I’m also wondering if I should ask him if he wants me to stop contacting him because he’s been very difficult to make plans with. 
 
Sam

Dear Sam,

From the timeline when your email was sent and in estimating when you connected with this guy, this was around Mid-March during the Mercury Retrograde phase.  Everyone is unavailable and unable to pin down a date to connect during that transit.  Now that we are passed all of that I’m curious to know if he’s come around as the probability is likely or he that he would have just fallen to the wayside.

All planetary talk aside:

You both have a common thread going on at this juncture in your lives.  You are both in an exploring phase testing the waters to find out what it is you both want and are attracted to.

It can be difficult to resist a physical connection with someone you have just met, but typically when that is how a relationship starts that’s usually where it ends.  There are exceptions to that rule of course, but I don’t speak in specifics.

You have been meeting more than half way attempting to meet with him again.  He is not being responsive so the best thing to do would be to back off.  Let him know you’re interested in hanging out instead of going out, but that you are going to leave the ball in his court.  Let him also know that if he’s interested in hanging out, then to hit you up.  I would not imply that you want to go out on a date as that will scare him off.  With this one you’ll have to ease him in slowly as if he’s just a friend.  You’ll have a chance to get to know him better on a friend basis if he agrees.  When someone is really interested in you, then they are going to let you know.  Even if they are too busy, they will suggest something like, “This is a busy week, but I am available next week on Tuesday and would love to do get together.”

Grindr can be a great way to meet people, but many people on there may not have the relationship seeking intentions that you might have.  It’s not impossible, but unfortunately the odds are slim.  The majority of those guys tend to be looking to get it on more than anything else.  The connections are typically short lived.

Jagger

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Your name will not be used unless you approve.

All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only.   It should not be a replacement for treatment.

More Ask Jagger columns here

 

A difficult dating life and uncontrollable crush; Jagger’s Revolution an erotic love story

Jagger falls asleep and right into another prophetic dream about Garth.  Garth comes up to him to ask him out in a proper way.  He holds all those qualities of a wistful medieval knight, courageous, tons of honor, and an immense amount of loyalty and consideration of others.  They’re together, the house, the white picket fence, the kids and the dog they call Blackhawk.  Garth comes home from work and anxiously walks through the maze trying to find Jagger in order to embrace in love’s everlasting kiss.  They fall into each other’s arms and onto the bed.  Jagger jolts back out of sleep and awake.  Dammit.  It was only a dream.

“Jagger is the guy who knows about love and relationships.  He is my tougher alter ego who lives in a hacienda near the beach writing sex columns for a local outlet.   Back in 2005, I was fascinated by these Japanese aristocrats who were refined and beautiful.  They could watch someone be decapitated and feel nothing, but if someone displayed poor class then he couldn’t get over it for a week.  I thought about someone with that kind of mind set in today’s world, give him a regular job and a difficult dating life as well as an uncontrollable crush on one person.  What would happen?  This became ‘Jagger’s Revolution’.” ~ Kevin Hunter, author of Jagger’s Revolution

JAGGER’S REVOLUTION

available now

Paperback page

Kindle page

Never Jump into a Relationship Right Away. This is a dating rule in Dude 101.

Do you ever find that those around you suddenly get into a relationship with someone you had never heard of?  That’s because they just met less than two weeks ago.  It will be over within six weeks.  These are the same people that abuse their Facebook status by switching it to ‘in a relationship’ only to abruptly switch it back to ‘single’ in less than six weeks.  Everyone is devastated and sorry.  Sorry for what?  Anyone could have predictably nailed the outcome of it.

Relationships that start off like that never last because they’re not real relationships.  Typically what needs to happen and how it works is there is a courting and dating process that goes on for awhile before it becomes a full fledged relationship.  This is the mature road to a successful long term union.  No matter how into someone you are, you are simply dating when you first meet.  Dating is the process of elimination.  You’re dating to find out whether or not you’re a match.  You’re getting to know the person to see if they are someone you can exclusively see yourself having a serious REAL relationship with.

Dude 101

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www.kevin-hunter.com

Ask Jagger: I Had a Hookup That Grew More Serious and Ended Abruptly

Dear Jagger,

I just got out of an 8 month long relationship…it was on and off though and had a lot of drama…mostly my fault. After things just ended so quickly, I tried to just be friends with him. I texted and waited in front of his place and even bought basketball tickets, which I had to just sell off immediately for a lower price. In the end, when I asked him if he wanted to see me, he said no.

 

This is my first serious relationship ever, where it started out as a hookup and ended up being more serious. We were very physically active as well. Thinking back, I just realize that I missed out on a really great guy. He said he liked me at first and wanted to date me. He bought dinners. If only I had a time machine to go back and smack myself. Both of us were not out, although I was still experimenting and he had more experience with guys than I did. I guess what was devastating for me is that things ended so quickly. It’s only been over a week since we last talked where I finally realized that he did not want to see me anymore, but I still have thoughts of us getting back together and about the good times we had. Maybe because it’s still new and he was my first serious relationship, but I don’t know whether I can get over this guy. He was able to find another guy, which he seems serious about. I also hooked up with other guys as well, which I am not proud of. I guess I just need more time.

How do you move on from serious heartbreak?

Brian.

Dear Brian,

I don’t want to diminish the feelings you had, but 8 months is not a long term relationship.  It’s dating.  Dating is the process of elimination and you date someone to see if you’re both a match and to see if it can develop into a serious relationship down the line.  If there was drama that soon into it, then that is a red flag.  You can’t go into a new dating situation with drama.  There is no way for him to get into something serious with someone that quickly.  That’s not serious, but terminal.

You had a brief hot, passionate affair that burned out abruptly.  When the union is based primarily on passion then that can bring out the drama.  You were attracted to the rush, excitement and newness of this and displayed fears that it would end.  With the next guy, don’t get attached too quickly as easy as that can be.  Communicate.  Make sure you’re both facing forward in the same direction and have the same interests.  Right now you’re missing the fun you two had, but as trite as this will sound, over time that will fade.  Don’t contact him and remove all traces of him.  You’ll find someone else to have fun with where there won’t be any drama.

This ended abruptly and you both immediately had sex with other people instead of working out your issues.  He got a whiff of this drama and said that this isn’t something he’s interested involved in.  He made his choice and is being smart.  You need to take a step back and take the lessons you’ve learned from this as not all dating scenarios are meant to go the distance.  This is why we date often and have several relationships or sometimes more before the real deal comes in because by then you’ve had enough experience on knowing what to do, what not to do as well as what you’ll tolerate up front and what you won’t.

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Your name will not be used unless you approve.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about finding his current relationship and Jagger’s dating hand guide, “Dude 101“.  Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

also available in kindle

 
Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

Ask Jagger: The Guy I’m Dating is Married to His Family

Dear Jagger,

I have been dating a Vietnamese guy since July. He is sweet, kind, hard working, and thoughtful. Being a 5 yr newbie (to the gay world) I have dated a cast of clowns, liars, douche bags, cheaters and users. Some of the aforementioned were fine for what they were, but I am truly seeking a LTR.

My current man, like many, does bring some issues.  First, he is not out to his family (but I am certain they know) Second, he probably can never leave them (for a handful of legitimate and sad reasons) We also struggle at times to communicate. On the flip side, he does embody SO MANY of the positive qualities I wish for in my guy. As stated, he is kind, thoughtful, loving, affectionate, hard working, and has family values.

As stated, he can’t leave his family. My problem is do I stay with him or keep looking. YES, I prefer to have my man move in SOME day. He can’t. Yet, I do love him for what he is. He is the best overall guy I have met.

Maybe I am answering my own question. Maybe I should stay with him, see how our relationship progresses, and THEN decide. Maybe I am in too much of a hurry to land HIM and not enjoying and appreciating what I have right now.

thoughts…. ??

Signed,

Richard

Dear Richard,

You’ve only been dating for three months.  Everyone is kind, loving and sweet in the beginning. If you’re enjoying his company then that’s all you should be focused on at the moment. After a year and some change then come back and revisit this question to see where you’re both at.  He may be ready to take it to the next level which can include cohabitation.  If you know from him that for sure he will never be able to move in with you and this bothers you, then you will need to decide how important that is to you.  If you can’t live like that, then end it now before you waste your time or his.  There are many couples who are in successful, monogamous, long term relationships and reside in separate residences.

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Your name will not be used unless you approve.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about finding his current relationship and Jagger’s dating hand guide, “Dude 101“.  Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

also available in kindle

 
Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

Ask Jagger: The Guy I Met In a Bar Stopped Contacting Me

Dear Jagger,

I was at a bar that I often go to a few weeks ago when I saw this really cute guy sitting across the bar. He was smiling there and had amazing energy. I don’t usually don’t approach guys (too shy), but was drawn to him and found myself introducing myself. He was so nice and we had an amazing time.  I told him I had a date the next day, but would cancel if I had a better offer. We went on one of the best dates of my life. We went out to dinner, talked about our families and more. We both seem to be headed in the same direction, but to be honest my income is smaller.

He took me home that night after a drink at the same bar and we cuddled till he drove me to work at 5:30AM!  As stupid as it is I had thought that this time it would be different.

The next date was ok, but he spent the whole night complaining about the movie.  He always said it was uncomfortable when I put my arm around him (seating wise).  We planned a date two days ago, which he cancelled, but offered to go out and go to my place yesterday which he cancelled 30 minutes after he was supposed to pick me up.  I was so sad (already stressed from needing to move in less than a month and my job is sucking).  He asked me to go to lunch with him today and I hesitantly agreed.  Should I be mad?  If he blows me off again I’m done. He hasn’t confirmed lunch today and I haven’t heard from him.  I’m 23.

Signed,

Concerned

Dear Concerned,

You’re coming to grips with the realities of the modern day dating world.  You got too close too quickly and this scared him off.  You’re not going to meet a quality relationship guy in a bar.  You may meet a satisfying intimate encounter as you did here for one night, but it won’t turn into anything more than that.  People in bars are either desperately lonely or looking to have some fun, they’re not looking for their husband.

This is a lesson for you to take it slow with the next guy.  It’s understandable to become giddy with excitement over a new prospect, but when you get overly anxious you find yourself behaving in ways that you wished you hadn’t.  It’s always important to take it slow and understand that some people also have busy lives.  This is still no excuse for him to be flaky and uncommunicative when it comes to making plans with someone.  You got a taste of how it would be if you both sealed the deal at a later date.  Something tells me that this would’ve frustrated you in the end anyway.

You’re stressing out over your job and with making a physical move.  This is not the time to attach yourself to a new love interest.  Make sure you’re at a place of contentment before you attempt to dive into a relationship.

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Your name will not be used unless you approve.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about finding his current relationship and Jagger’s dating hand guide, “Dude 101“.  Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

also available in kindle

 
Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

Ask Jagger: I Have a Crush On a Guy Who Says I’m Too Young To Date

Dear Jagger

I met a guy 3 years older than me (I’m 15, He’s 18). At the beginning (October 2011) he was always nice, smiling at me (but didn’t stare at me) and I thought that he liked me. One day he saw me with some 9th graders and he seemed surprised. After a month I told him by chat that I like him and to tell nobody. On the next day I asked him by chat again if there was any chance for me to stay with him, and he said no and that I’m too young for him. He told me that I should find someone else my age.

I asked a mutual friend to ask him what does he think about me and this friend told me that he thinks that I am pretty, but too young. He also said that if I was older he wouldn’t mind being my boyfriend.

It’s been 1 year (October 2012) and we still don’t talk and some guys told me that they knew I like him and one of the guys told me that he don’t believe that the boy I like will change his opinion about me. But he (the boy I like) is confusing me because he is smiling and staring at me with his mouth half open (I read that’s a sign that he is feeling attracted) all the time. One day he made me a seductive glance and he wasn’t paying attention to his friends while staring at me. Sometimes when he sees me, his face is like surprised and with the mouth half open. When I’m closer, he does that and he looks me in the eyes.

I seriously don’t understand him. If you could clear my mind, I appreciate it. Thank you.

(Sorry about the English)

Rita

Dear Rita,

It can be a wonderful feeling having a love crush on someone and knowing that they may be possibly crushing on you as well. However, there is one temporary setback in this situation. He is curious and interested in you, but he’s also being smart. You are not that much younger than him, but in the eyes of the law you are. A three year age difference is nothing, but it is something when you are 15 and he is 18. I don’t know what state you’re writing from, but in many states you’re not of legal age until 18. It can get messy if you date an 18 year old. 

{Paragraph removed due to the censorship police being offended by the truth dictated in this particular column and I say fuck you to that}

He’s showing good judgment and restraint by not pursuing anything as he knows it could be trouble in the end. However, once you’re 18 and he’s 21 then it’s no longer a big deal. It’s funny how an age difference suddenly becomes irrelevant as you get older. If he’s the one and this is a union that’s meant to happen, then the opportunity to explore something will still be there. In the meantime, if you truly do like him, then build a friendship with him for now. Let him know you’re perfectly willing to see where you’re both at when you turn 18 with the possibility of a relationship. This will also give you plenty of time to get to know him, and see if your feelings for him are still the same and haven’t changed. You should always be friends with someone first before you get involved with them.

I’m showing one stage or cycle coming to an end and a new one beginning. This can present an opportunity for something even greater down the line. Surrender this need to have him in a relationship at this time. Remember that you are not giving up on what you want; you are simply giving up on trying to control the outcome of this. Trust that everything will be resolved in your best interest in the end. In the meantime, use this time to get to know him as a friend. If you need to work more of this out, please don’t hesitate to contact me again.

 

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Heartbreak and love troubles are an equal opportunity killer.  Everyone can relate to these circumstances by putting themselves in your shoes.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship and his dating hand guide, “Dude 101“. Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

 

 

 

 

 

 

also available in kindle

 
Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter
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