Losing My Life Force and Bringing It Back Brighter Than Before

Two years ago today a close love relationship of mine ended abruptly.  I found out that it was over by reading it in a letter that was left at my door an hour before I was to stand up in front of a theater full of people to excite them.  I’m a master at what I do and a temporary light switch shut off long enough for me to numb myself from experiencing any pain to get to work.    I read the letter and mumbled, “You’re fucking kidding me.”  I held my breath for the next hour so that I could inspire others.  This was how I kicked off the 2014 year.  It was by flinging myself through broken glass and out of a ten story building cut up bloodied and scarred.  I was suspicious that it might happen, but sometimes you’re too close to see clearly.  You also cannot control someone’s free will choices which go against what is intended to take place.

While my personal life was deteriorating and went on a downward spiral at that moment, my professional life was rising rapidly at the exact same time behind the scenes.  I hadn’t realized it until a few months later.  I was too angry to notice that five of my spiritual pocket books had just been released and were attracting in a larger audience than ever before.  I had three other big books in the production pipeline to see through to completion as well. When those were done, I intended to quit and shut everything down.

I laid low and spent 2014 focusing on completing those books while masking my anger, sadness and shock over what was happening personally.   In hindsight, I was very aware that my relationship was experiencing a sudden withdrawal the weeks before.   I suspected that the connection might be in trouble.  We were both so consumed with work that I assumed that was what it was.   The five pocket books were about to be released and my mind was preoccupied with that while questioning what was going on.  When it ended I couldn’t tell anyone right away because the only words I expected to hear from would be, “Well I told you so and you knew this was going to happen anyway.”  And they would be right.

I spent 2014 dying off and killing my life force in every way I could.  While I battled personally, my books were selling like mad and rising up the charts to speak.  My blog visits rose from 5,000 to 30,000 views. My professional page rose from 150 people to 20,000. It was ironic that it was happening simultaneously as the big part of my soul died off.   One close friend described everything that was happening at that time to be ‘bitter sweet’.

Regardless that these great things were happening professionally, there was no motivation left in me, no caring, no interest in anything, no creativity and no passion. I consciously knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life like that and continuously begged for some kind of release to bring ‘me’ back. I’m the guy people praise for being optimistic and cheering them on. Now he’s dead and buried.   How could I motivate others if I couldn’t even motivate myself?

This all changed as 2015 rolled around, I was writing again and opening up and connecting with others more. While the fire within my life force was gone, it wasn’t permanently diminished.  It was still as small as a pilot light in a stove that just needed a match to be thrown onto it.  And that’s what happened, I threw the match on it and my inner life force shot up and burned brighter than it ever has.  I remembered the reason I was here and that no one is allowed to stop me from doing that – including me.

It is 2016 and my two year transition is over.  I have transformed once again as I always have throughout the course of my life.  My first book in over a year has been released this week called, “Ignite Your Inner Life Force”.   My life force had died and I had to find a way through spirit to bring it back.  This is a book for all ages, although it is geared towards assisting and inspiring all young people that incarnate into an Earthly life from here on out since this book will always be available long after I’ve departed this plane.

This is the beginning of the next chapter with one book after another coming out this year.  There is a creative spirit book coming out this Spring, followed by a couple of love relationship books in the Fall, and a personal spiritual book at the end of the year.  Yes I’ve been busy.  When I first told my Editor I was quitting, he said he’s against that and disagrees.   A year later, I came back and told him that I had several written projects ready for him.  He shouted, “Alright!  We are back in business!”

Only those super close to me, the circle and trusted ones around me, were aware of the shock that rocked my personal life during that time two years ago.  Since then I’ve met and connected with so many incredible new people who banded with me to create an army. Readers have been reaching out to me from all around the world to share their stories and praise mine and how it’s inspired them.   Receiving their notes in 2014 specifically reminded me that I’ve been inspiring them in the process and my work does not go unnoticed.   If one thought I was tough before, now it’s off the charts.  I have become way too powerful over the last couple of years.  I’ve been more direct than ever before that it intimidates me at times, but I just don’t care anymore. That part of me is done.  Trust?  That’s gone and out the door.

Lucy, a fellow author on my page had connected with me a year ago after discovering me through my book “Realm of the Wise One”.  She gave me a read, but first gave me her initial psychic impression of me.  She is keenly tuned in that she picked up who I was and what I was hiding more than those super close to me did at that time.  Without knowing anything about what I had just spent the previous year going through, she said:

“I get that you physicalize your emotional feelings. When I reach out to sense you I get this wealth and warmth of emotion along with this cold, numb part that sits right on your heart center. Like something was severed there and it left a scar.  I see you running, gritting your teeth and keeping the emotion in.  I see you training (with boxing style gloves?) almost in tears, but not crying. Through this giant ball of intense feelings of frustration, disappointment, rage and pain you crush it into a tiny spot of cold.  A diamond of emotions. I’m seeing you in the past, you’re young, all arms and legs and attitude and big eyes, can’t be more than 9, maybe a lot younger spitting blood into the dirt. The ground is dry and dusty and almost orange.”

She couldn’t have been more on the mark. The only place I release these pent up emotional feelings and what I’m really going through is by writing a book. What I went through two years ago I have yet to talk about in detail.  This is the first time I’ve alluded to anything at all and two years have already passed.  My close friends were upset when they discovered this happened.  Not so much that the love connection was brought to a halt, but that I didn’t say a word, and instead carried on as if it had never happened.  They sensed something wasn’t right, because I wasn’t the same person they knew before that moment.

Around Christmas time weeks before the relationship ended, it had showed up in the cards, but I erased that, wiped it away from my mind and swooped up the cards pretending that it was just a bad read.  Nope, it was real alright.  There is also no animosity or blame.  Some people are just incapable of being in a relationship or they don’t know how nor have the tools.  It is what it is and we’re still friendly so all is good, but obviously not as close as we once we’re for reasons that are apparent.

 

Today I’m doing incredible!   I have been long healed and all is well.  This was the inspiration that brought on my book, “Ignite Your Inner Life Force.”   I am no longer the same person I was two years ago.  I don’t have to talk to anyone or respond to anybody if I don’t want to.  I don’t owe anyone anything anymore except my integrity and who I am and what I set out to do.  I can write one book after another in private and not have audience participation or interaction.

My bullshit detector is the most calibrated that it’s ever been.  I don’t tolerate much anymore which has pushed those away that need to go, but it’s invited in a much stronger crowd who love all facets of me and I them.   The past year brought me back in a bigger way with my natural born state of excitement and optimism.   This coming year is an amazing beautiful one full of prosperity on all levels!  But I already knew it would be. 😉

 

~  Kevin Hunter
www.kevin-hunter.com

Empowerment, inspirational and self-help books by Kevin Hunter
are available in paperback and kindle wherever books are sold.


About Kevin Hunter

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Posted on January 6, 2016, in addictions, Dude Lit, Dude Literature, Empowerment, entertainment, Heaven, Inspirational, Kevin Hunter, Kevin Hunter Author Writer, Love and Relationships, Love/Sex/Marriage, Romance, Self-help, Spirit Guides, spirit team, Spirituality, Spirituality For Men, Warrior of Light, Well being, Wise One, Young Adults. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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