Ask Jagger: I’m 22, he’s 33. We have everything in common, but I fear the age issue bothers him

Dear Jagger,
I’ve never done this before but I do need some advice. I liked the advice you gave in a couple recent posts so I respect your answers.
I’m 22 and the guy I’ve liked for a while is 33. I wouldn’t bother with an email if I didn’t truly like‎ him.
When we first started dating he was head over heels for me, couldn’t get enough of me but he could read that I didn’t feel as strongly as he did and I think he pulled away for that reason. Months pass, still “seeing” each other but our visits were less and less and I realized how much he meant to me. Long story short, it’s been a year of this in between and seeing each other every once in a while. We have EVERYTHING in common, he introduces me to all of his close friends and family, we’re intimate sometimes but there’s no commitment or enough encounters for it to be something. I’ve never brought it up because I can read his body language that something is holding him back. Anytime he asks me who I’m with/ spending the weekend with or whatever he always seems to ask what their age is. 
(I also know who contacts who first is important and I would say he does a little more than I do)
My question is do you think the age is what is holding him back?

Dear Emily,

It sounds like you just answered your own question!  The immediate hit I got is your age concerns him.  Those who are ages 15-25 tend to change and develop more often in that short amount of time than someone of any other age.  He knows this since he’s already lived through those years.  The one thing you both have is a friendship right now.  It’s easier to move things into something more if you’re already friends to begin with.  He’s likely to take things more seriously when it comes to romantic relationships than you might.  Therefore his hesitance is transparent.  He’s not going to dive in until he knows for sure, because once he’s in it, he’s in it for the long haul.  He testing the waters around you by asking you personal questions such as who were you with, how old were they?  He wants to see if there’s a pattern.  If he suspects that they’re mostly your age, then he’ll come to the conclusion that he’s being outlandish to even consider that this could be something that could turn romantic down the line.  He has all the time in the world, so he’ll continue to be patient over the years to see what transpires or doesn’t.  Continue being his friend and if it is indeed meant to be, then it will move in that direction naturally and on its own course.

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Your name will not be used if you say so.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship.  Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

**The book Jagger’s Revolution has currently been banned by the distributor due to what they consider illegal in the United States.   Stay tuned as the book will be re-released in the near future with the offending material removed. **

~  Kevin Hunter

Empowerment, inspirational and self-help books by Kevin Hunter
are available in paperback and kindle wherever books are sold.

The content in the books, “Warrior of Light” and “Empowering Spirit Wisdom” is
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Posted on September 21, 2014, in Ask Jagger, Dating (Social Customs), Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer, Romance, Sex Customs and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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