Ask Jagger: I Have a Crush On a Guy Who Says I’m Too Young To Date

Dear Jagger

I met a guy 3 years older than me (I’m 15, He’s 18). At the beginning (October 2011) he was always nice, smiling at me (but didn’t stare at me) and I thought that he liked me. One day he saw me with some 9th graders and he seemed surprised. After a month I told him by chat that I like him and to tell nobody. On the next day I asked him by chat again if there was any chance for me to stay with him, and he said no and that I’m too young for him. He told me that I should find someone else my age.

I asked a mutual friend to ask him what does he think about me and this friend told me that he thinks that I am pretty, but too young. He also said that if I was older he wouldn’t mind being my boyfriend.

It’s been 1 year (October 2012) and we still don’t talk and some guys told me that they knew I like him and one of the guys told me that he don’t believe that the boy I like will change his opinion about me. But he (the boy I like) is confusing me because he is smiling and staring at me with his mouth half open (I read that’s a sign that he is feeling attracted) all the time. One day he made me a seductive glance and he wasn’t paying attention to his friends while staring at me. Sometimes when he sees me, his face is like surprised and with the mouth half open. When I’m closer, he does that and he looks me in the eyes.

I seriously don’t understand him. If you could clear my mind, I appreciate it. Thank you.

(Sorry about the English)

Rita

Dear Rita,

It can be a wonderful feeling having a love crush on someone and knowing that they may be possibly crushing on you as well. However, there is one temporary setback in this situation. He is curious and interested in you, but he’s also being smart. You are not that much younger than him, but in the eyes of the law you are. A three year age difference is nothing, but it is something when you are 15 and he is 18. I don’t know what state you’re writing from, but in many states you’re not of legal age until 18. It can get messy if you date an 18 year old. 

{Paragraph removed due to the censorship police being offended by the truth dictated in this particular column and I say fuck you to that}

He’s showing good judgment and restraint by not pursuing anything as he knows it could be trouble in the end. However, once you’re 18 and he’s 21 then it’s no longer a big deal. It’s funny how an age difference suddenly becomes irrelevant as you get older. If he’s the one and this is a union that’s meant to happen, then the opportunity to explore something will still be there. In the meantime, if you truly do like him, then build a friendship with him for now. Let him know you’re perfectly willing to see where you’re both at when you turn 18 with the possibility of a relationship. This will also give you plenty of time to get to know him, and see if your feelings for him are still the same and haven’t changed. You should always be friends with someone first before you get involved with them.

I’m showing one stage or cycle coming to an end and a new one beginning. This can present an opportunity for something even greater down the line. Surrender this need to have him in a relationship at this time. Remember that you are not giving up on what you want; you are simply giving up on trying to control the outcome of this. Trust that everything will be resolved in your best interest in the end. In the meantime, use this time to get to know him as a friend. If you need to work more of this out, please don’t hesitate to contact me again.

 

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at dudelit@gmail.com  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Heartbreak and love troubles are an equal opportunity killer.  Everyone can relate to these circumstances by putting themselves in your shoes.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship and his dating hand guide, “Dude 101“. Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

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Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

About Kevin Hunter

Love addict

Posted on October 3, 2012, in Advice Column, Ask Jagger, Ask Kevin Hunter, Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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