Ask Jagger: Long Distance Relationships and Open Relationships

Dear Jagger,

What do you think of long distance relationships and having an open relationship? Is it a good thing or bad?

That way no one has to feel bad about cheating.

My boyfriend left out of state for 4 months for work. We decided to still date since he’ll be coming back. We have been dating for 4 months. Should we have an open relationship since I don’t want to be stressing if he’s going to be talking to other people? I should trust him and he should trust me, but I don’t think we have been dating long enough for me to trust him. Should we break up and or should I wait for him since I do like him a lot and I could see us together for a long time. What do you think?



Dear Curious,

Long distance relationships rarely work and open relationships are not real relationships.

Long distance relationships require a huge amount of trust and you’re already admitting to lacking that.  They work with two mature busy professionals that agree to see each other within a set time frame every month and plan to live in the same city at some point.

You say you don’t want to be stressing that he’ll be talking to other people, but if you have an open relationship that’s exactly what he’ll be doing. You’ve been dating for four months and you already don’t trust him. Yes, you should break up and remain friends because that’s where its headed regardless. This is what an open relationship is essentially.  He’ll meet someone else on this little open relationship experiment and end up committing to that guy because at least they’ll be in the same city.  Open relationships are simply friends with benefits disguised under a false label such as ‘open relationship’. It opens the door to more danger into the crumbling of a faulty commitment set up.

There are couples who agree to date and fuck around while in a relationship and they call it an open relationship.  This is fine as they’ve agreed to this set up as a couple.  What isn’t fine is the false label put to it.  It’s ‘friends with benefits’, not an ‘open relationship’.

You like him a lot because it’s only been 4 months and its fresh and new.  Will you still be head over heels for him in two years?  Break up and date other people and avoid hiding behind the open relationship title.  You’re both going to be dating other people anyway.  If its meant to be, then you’ll be brought together again in the same city in the future.



If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Heartbreak and love troubles are an equal opportunity killer.  Everyone can relate to these circumstances by putting themselves in your shoes.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship and his dating hand guide, “Dude 101“. Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

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Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

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Posted on September 18, 2012, in Advice Column, Ask Jagger, Ask Kevin Hunter, Dating (Social Customs), Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer, Sex, Sex Customs, Young Adults and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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