Ask Jagger: It’s Been One Day and This Great Guy Has Disappeared.

Dear Jagger,

Advice needed.  I’m a 32 year old guy.

I met a guy who I instantly clicked with online last weekend. We quickly exchanged numbers and began texting and had a good phone conversation. He seemed to be a quality person and we had so many similarities I suggested that we meet this past Monday.  So we went and had coffee and had a very nice time…no first meeting awkwardness or anything like that. We left and agreed to keep talking. As we texted the next day or so he on his own accord mentions about wanting to go on a second date and even sends me random texts that say ‘how cute he thought I was’ to which I would reciprocate and now suddenly for the last day or so he has gone almost totally silent.

I guess I am just frustrated as this was someone I was pretty excited about getting to know and see where it might lead. Maybe I am overreacting but for as much communication as we had at first it’s weird for him to essentially disappear when he was showing all the signs of interest and then suddenly he is gone.

Should I wait to hear from him again? Or should I call or text him in the next day or so if I haven’t heard from him?



Dear Brian,

It’s only been one day.  You need to take it down a notch.  When two people meet and have chemistry initially there is wonderful communication flowing back and forth, but this dies down or goes up and down.  I understand you getting overly excited and giddy over this guy, but its time to take a step back.  Do this so that you don’t drive yourself into emotional turmoil.  You’re not 17, you’re 32.  Find some hobbies and things you enjoy doing to occupy your time.  You can never, ever rush love or a relationship.  It’s safe to text him after a few days and see how he’s doing.  I would even suggest waiting a week if you haven’t heard from him, but something tells me you’re not going to do that.

If this guy is interested in continuing in getting to know you then he will pop back up.  However, if he does pop back up, there will be times where he won’t.  If you don’t take it easy with this and allow your over excitement to get the best of you, then you may kill any potential relationship forming with this guy in the long run.  This is what they’re showing me at this time.  I say this with love so that you can prepare and armor yourself and use this opportunity to let go of your need to control the outcome of how this is going to go.

Read “Dude 101” to discover how to navigate through love, dating and relationships.  It’s an easy, quick and fun read where you’ll also learn how to discover if someone’s interested in you and what not to do so you don’t blow it.


If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships, love or any other pressing issue then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at  Be sure to leave certain information that you feel applies to your case whether you’re straight, gay, male or female.  Heartbreak and love troubles are an equal opportunity killer.  Everyone can relate to these circumstances by putting themselves in your shoes.

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship and his dating hand guide, “Dude 101“. Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

More Ask Jagger columns here

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Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

About Kevin Hunter


Posted on September 7, 2012, in Advice Column, Ask Jagger, Ask Kevin Hunter, Dating (Social Customs), Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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