Ask Jagger: He Says I’m Too Young For Him

Dear Jagger,

I have a dilemma. I’m 20 years old and I’m talking with this guy who is 38 and that doesn’t bug me.  The problem is he said that his ex was young like me so he doesn’t want to date, but I really like this guy and I think he likes me too. He might move here to the same state I’m in of Kentucky, because it’ll work out with his job and such. I don’t know what to do. I really think we could become something, but I don’t want to confront him about it because he might not want to talk if he knows I’m so in to him.  We’ve just been on one date.  Should I wait it out? What do you think?



Dear Dilemma,

He’s being smart and very clear with you.  He’s dated guys that were too young for him and he saw where that led.  He doesn’t want to make that mistake again.  He’s at an age where he takes who he’s going to be dating very seriously, because he’s looking for something that will last and grow into something more.  He wants someone solid and who has the capability of sticking around through the long haul.

He discovered the hard way that dating a 20 year old is not going to give him a long lasting relationship.  This isn’t to say that it can’t happen, but no one under 25 should be in a serious relationship anyway.  You should be dating around and gaining some life experience.

You have feelings that are super intense for him right now, but that will likely change over time.  I would recommend keeping it light and maintaining a friendship with him.  It’ll be easier to merge into a relationship down the line if he gets to know you as a friend and sees that you’re someone that has staying power.  At the same time, you should continue to date other people.

As far as age differences go, nothing can stop two people who are meant to come together.  It doesn’t matter what society, your family or your friends think.

If you have a question you’d like answered specifically around dating, relationships and love then shoot an email to “Ask Jagger” at

Jagger is featured in the books “Jagger’s Revolution” about his journey to finding his current relationship and his dating hand guide, “Dude 101“. Jagger is the dark alter ego of writer Kevin Hunter. All advice and information is intended as a general guide and for entertainment purposes only. 

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Copyright © 2012 Kevin Hunter

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Posted on August 14, 2012, in Advice Column, Ask Jagger, Ask Kevin Hunter, Dating (Social Customs), Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer, Love and Relationships, Young Adults and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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