Dude 101 – What is it really all about?

What is it really all about?

I’m an incurable romantic and I write about the human condition and relationships, among other things.  I’ve had my share of love, dating and relationships, and come from the school of hard knocks, been disappointed, scorned and left, yet I go back to that one place, eternally hopeful and optimistic when it comes to love and companionship.

This is a self-centered world amidst self-seeking people and it’s not unusual that many find themselves wrestling with finding someone to give them what they want completely.  You want it to last, and are disappointed when it doesn’t.  We live among energy feeders.  We all feed off each other to the point where we’re exhausted.

Real love, real honest true love is building something that can sustain the distance. It’s how you get through crises together and endure the hard, coming out of it having strengthened your bond even more.  Real love is not immediate, but rather grows the more you feed it.  It’s falling in love repeatedly, but with the same person.  Something that isn’t easy to do in today’s instant “me” world.  The grudges you hold, the harboring resented anger you allow to seethe underneath you over the one who hurt you.  You’re unable to allow them to penetrate through, but it is possible.

The most powerful moment is when two souls realize they have something lovely together and how rare that is.  Once one passes the euphoria stage where you miss them every second of the day, then you begin wondering if this is the right person for you.  You become unhappy with their flaws wanting to call it quits.  It will always take work.  You’re forming an alliance.  You’re gradually building a history together in this world and becoming stronger as one, instead of two.

Don’t look for some shred that bothers you about this other person.  Look for a piece of light that touches you about him and what it is that first drew you to him to begin with and you build off of that.  It’s easier to fixate on the negative and to criticize than it is to fill yourself and your love up with optimism and praise.  The latter takes work, the former doesn’t, that’s why you see so much negativity in the world and everywhere around you.   Because no one wants to do the real honest work anymore, because that takes guts and strength.

Treasure what you have because to not is a genuine tragedy.  Don’t seek out perfection or have a long list of what you feel your ego needs, because you’ll never find it.  You’ll end up murderously disappointed.  The person that’s for you has been in front of you all along.  Open your eyes and reach out.  Let it envelope you and continue to work and perfect it.  Dudes need love too so start giving and express it.  Get into the joy of your life and include him in it.

Dude 101:



About Kevin Hunter


Posted on August 8, 2012, in Dating (Social Customs), Dude Lit, Kevin Hunter Author Writer, Romance, Trashy Beach Reads, Young Adults and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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